aloneThis submission comes from an anonymous friend of the Spiritual Renewal Center.

My life was a mess. I was living at Le Moyne Manor, which is a halfway house for people coming out of inpatient treatment for addiction. I had been going to three AA meetings a day since I left Canandaigua VA hospital sixty-four days earlier, and yet in the back of my mind I knew that I would drink again and this time it would be the end. I would die, and I welcomed it. I had lost my home, my car, my job, and had ended up in different shelters in Syracuse. I was spiraling more and more out of control and into hell.

I was seething with an incredible anger, and I remember putting my head in my hands and just simply saying: “My God, I know that I’m going to drink again but please just take away this anger.”

Immediately I felt a sense of heat in the middle of my chest, and as the heat grew, it started to feel like a sparkler from the Fourth of July. The heat was intense! I don’t know how long it lasted, but the heat spread throughout my body. When it was over, the anger, the pain, the fear, and the obsession to drink was gone – completely gone! I felt a new sense of peace beyond any explanation.

That was eight years ago. The obsession to drink never returned. I will never understand God’s ways, and that’s okay with me. I continue to attend 12-step meetings, and I love helping others achieve sobriety. I’ve deepened my relationship with God, and have completed the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius at the Spiritual Renewal Center.

I have rejoined the human race!

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